The turning point of the student musician. What should parents do if the child refuses to continue to attend music school?

Sooner or later, almost every young musician has a moment when he wants to give up classes. Most often this happens during the 4-5 years of study, when the program becomes more difficult, the requirements are higher, and the accumulated fatigue is greater.

This is facilitated by a number of factors. On the one hand, the growing up child has more freedom. He can already manage his time independently, take a longer walk with friends. In addition, the range of his interests is also expanding.

It seems that for him, finally, the doors to stunning opportunities are being opened. And then the need to attend music lessons and regularly engage in the home begins to play the annoying role of a short leash.

Off the shackles!

It is clear that at some point the child must be visited by a brilliant idea - “We must give up everything!”. He quite sincerely believes that this step will relieve him of a whole chain of problems.

This is where the long and thought-out siege of parents begins. Everything can be used: monotonous repetition of incredible fatigue, full-fledged tantrums, refusal to do homework. Much will depend on the temperament of your child.

He is quite capable of even starting a fully grown up and logically constructed conversation, in which he will bring a lot of evidence that music education in his life will not come in handy, and accordingly there is nothing to waste time on him.

How to respond to a riot?

What, then, should loving and caring parents do? First of all - remove all emotions and soberly assess the situation. After all, there can be many reasons for this behavior of a child. And that means they need to be addressed in different ways.

Do not shift the burden of responsibility on the teacher, relative, neighbor or the child itself. Remember, no one knows your child better than you. And no one takes care of him better than you.

No matter how old your young musician is, talk to him as a mature person. This does not mean an equal conversation with an equal. Make it clear that the final decision is yours. However, the child must feel that his point of view is indeed taken into account. This is not a cunning device that will allow you to show respect for the opinions of your son or daughter, which, in turn, on a psychological level, will make you respect your authority with great respect.

Conversation

  1. Listen to. Under no circumstances interrupt. Even if you see that the kid’s arguments are naive and erroneous, just listen. Remember that you draw your conclusions from the height of many years of experience, and the child’s horizons in this respect is still limited.
  2. Ask questions. Instead of chopping off: "You are still small and do not understand anything!" ask: "Why do you think so?"
  3. Draw different scenarios. Try to do it on the positive side. "Imagine how your friends will look at you when at a party you can sit at the piano (synthesizer, guitar, flute ...) and play a beautiful melody?". “Would you have to regret that you invested so much time and effort and then retreated?”
  4. Warn that he will face the consequences of his decisions. "You really wanted to make music. Now you are tired of it. Well, this is your decision. But recently you also hotly asked you to buy a bicycle (tablet, phone ...). Understand me - I can’t take these requests as seriously as earlier. We will spend a lot of money, and in a couple of weeks you might just get tired of buying. We’d better take a new wardrobe to your room. "
  5. The most important thing is to assure the child of your love. That you are very proud of him and appreciate his success. Say that you understand how difficult it is for him and notice the efforts he is making. Explain that if he overcomes himself now, it will be easier later.

And another important thought for parents is that the main question in this situation is not even whether the child will continue to study or not, but what you are programming in life for. Will he give up at the slightest pressure? Or learn how to solve difficulties and achieve the desired goal? In the future, this could mean a lot - file for a divorce or build a strong family? Get away from work or make a successful career? Right now you are laying the foundation for the character of your child. So strengthen it, using the time that you have.

Watch the video: COLLEGE KIDS REACT TO PANIC! AT THE DISCO Say Amen, This Is Gospel, Emperor's New Clothes (March 2024).

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